I really need some accountability

I'm going to start hitting the gym again. June was basically a bust. I had two weeks that I worked over 40 hours, William was in the ICU, and then we went out of town. If you haven't noticed I'm really good at coming up with an excuse for not going to the gym. I'm really posting this because I'm looking for someone to hold me accountable because I can't seem to do that for myself. William and I are starting Mommy and Me swimming lessons next week but not even that is motivation for me. Hopefully this afternoon I will be in boot camp at 5:30. Please pray that I don't die. Okay, that is a little extreme. Just please pray that I don't embarrass myself by passing out or vomiting.

Update on the Closet

Do you remember this post? Well, there has been no progress on this project. This morning I was reading some blogs and found this link on Sherri's blog. This has made me motivated to do something. So I'm going to try the advice and use the timer. We will see how that goes.

Flashback Friday

To go along with my last post on our trip to The Woodlands I wanted to flashback to the last picture I had of the girls from pharmacy school. The last time we were together was at A&M in September 2006 but for some reason I don't have any pictures from that outing. So if anyone has pictures can you please email them to me. I also could not find our group picture from graduation so send one of those also. :) Here is a picture of us from Andrew's baby shower in March 2006. I must say we have aged well.

I'm Going to Cheat on this Post

I was trying to sit down and write something about our little trip out of town but for some reason the phone kept ringing. For those that may not know I do most of my blogging while at work..shh don't tell the boss. Anyway, while thinking about what I was going to write about I decided to sneak over to look at some other blogs to pass the time. Today must have been my lucky day because my friend already wrote everything that I was going to write. Woohoo! Though I still have a little story about a soy bean that I will have to blog about later. :)

Flashback Friday

This picture was taken just two months before William was born. I can't believe how the time has flown by and how big my little girl is getting.

Happy Father's Day!

Just wanted to take this time to recognize Father's Day. I know I give Brian a hard time but he truly is an awesome Dad. We are so blessed to have him.



Hey, plus I can show off my red dress. :)

My Ice Cream Personality Test

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You are a bit of a bragger. Your personality is larger than life - and you really enjoy showing off. You are incredibly cautious. You rather miss out on something than make a mistake. No one would ever call you wild... but they would call you responsible. You are a fairly open minded person with a wide range of tastes. You are quite accepting of unusual ideas and people. You tend to have a one track mind. You prefer not to multitask. You are fun loving and sweet. You tend to enjoy joking around and teasing people.

The Ice Cream Personality Test

I'm feeling much better today

I'm finally starting to feel better and recoverying from the little illness that I had. Here are the answers to some of the questions that I got about being ill....

1) No, I'm not pregnant.

2) I did not eat any tomatoes.

3) There are no ticks on my body and I don't have Lyme disease.

You cannot lie when your three year old is around

Yesterday evening I took the kids outside after dinner so that they could enjoy the warm weather and to hopefully wear them out a little before bedtime. I decided that I was going to let them play in the water but just did not have the energy to pull out the water toys. Being the classy mom that I am I decided to just turn on the irrigation system and let them play. While we were sitting outside I noticed that a salesman was walking down the street. A feeling of panic just came over me. Usually when they come to my door they ask if my parents are home which I reply no and slowly close the door. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be as easy this time considering I was stuck outside with two little wet kids. As I watching him move up the road I was trying to come up with a story because I just didn't want to have to get rude with this guy and just didn't want to be bothered. As he approached me I just looked at him and said "Oh, I don't live here. I just watch the kids." He gave me his card to give to the owners of the house and asked that I tell them to give him a call. As he started to walk away Allyson ran up to me and said "Mommy, what did that boy want?" I just looked at him and said "I keep them all the time. It's really sad that she calls me that."

Just One Step Back in the Journey

Everyone knows that April was an extremely hard month for me. As soon as William's birthday was over all I could think about was Andrew and relive all of those days in 2006 up until my first Mother's Day without him. Since then I have been doing well. I haven't had any of my little breakdowns where I go hide in my closet and have a good cry. In fact, I haven't even cried at all. I think the month was just so draining that I just had nothing else to feel for the moment. On Saturday I had to take William to the clinic because he hasn't been feeling well since his surgery. As we walked down the hall in the clinic we passed the office door to the pediatrician that was on call and treated Andrew after my delivery. Remember he was the one that misdiagnosed him and said that his symptoms were because he was premature. He was the one that the next morning when Andrew was being resuscitated he was telling me how he was expecting his first grandchild (a boy) in two weeks. Well, on Saturday as we walked past his door there were pictures all over his door of him playing outside with his grandson. It's amazing how one little thing can make you regress back in your stages of grief. I don't like using the typical stages of grief because I don't like the last step of acceptance. I'm mean weather you have lost a loved one or you or a family member is dying from a terminal disease do you truly deep in your heart every accept that? Maybe some people do. For me and as of now I'm not even close to acceptanting this. I like the models where the last step is reorganization or resolution. For me that just seems more realistic. Just like anything in life you always have some set backs. Here is my set back. I'm back to anger. I'm angry that this man gets to make a mistake and gets to go on with his life. I truly hope that one day I will be able to forgive him. I truly do hope that. It's just not going to be today.

Marriage Today Conference

I have been watching Marriage Today on Daystar for about the last two years. Last year Brian and I attended the Marriage on the Rock conference. It was great to have a night without the kids, spend some time reconnecting with each other, and learning some valuable information to help strengthen our marriage. The conference is laid back and talks about the everyday couple. I would highly recommend going or at least looking at what they have to offer. Here is a link to this years conference.

Flashback Friday

Summer is here and hopefully things will slow down so we can relax. Here is pictures of the kids' first summer.

Allyson--Summer 2005



William--Summer 2007

It's Time to Come Out of the Closet

I'm still in the middle of my spring cleaning. It has taken me so long that this year I guess it will turn into my summer cleaning. I usually enjoy cleaning out all of our closets and drawers and making everything neat and tidy but now trying to do it while chasing two kids around is very overwhelming to me. Allyson and William's rooms are easy because I have two piles. I have the pile of clothes that they have out grown and the pile of clothes that could potentially fit next year. I take the pile of clothes they have out grown and box up the ones I could potentially use again. Though at this point the only way I would get pregnant would have to be from immaculate conception because Brian states "he is so done!" The playroom and living room are easy because Allyson gets to help. She is very good at getting rid of her toys that she no longer plays with because she has come to the conclusion that if she gives her old toys to the "poor kids" than she is being nice and will get new ones. I like to spin it so it looks like she has a big heart but in reality she is just looking out for number one. My laundry room pretty much stays organized and the kitchen is not a problem because that is Brian's area of the house. He has things organized the way he wants them and I will leave it at that. I know that most of ya'll are just rolling your eyes at me because I'm always getting the comments about how our house is so clean and organized. I'm always getting asked how we keep it that way with two kids, a dog, and me working so much. The short answer I believe is my undiagnosed OCD. It's time for me to admit that I do have one downfall to my organization and that is my closet. I have to admit that I don't think I have ever really tried to clean it out. I hate trying to purge clothes and will have to admit that I probably don't even wear 80% of the things that are in there. I have no idea why I hang onto these things that I will never wear again. So it is time to face the dreaded closet. While going through the closet I came across all kinds of things I didn't even know I still had. I found my letter jacket, senior prom dress (gave Jessica my junior prom dress years ago), bridesmaid dresses, clothes from high school, clothes I wore while at A&M, maternity clothes, my "skinny clothes" which are so out of date, and my "fat clothes" which are the ones I wore my last two years of pharmacy school before I was pregnant. See, I told you that I don't clean out my closet...it's full of crap!

I looked at this stuffed closet and knew that it was time to do something about it.



So I decided to procrastinate some more and play dress up instead of cleaning out the closet. This dress isn't old and is actually the one that I'm wearing to the American Red Cross Gala. I was just so excited because it is red, I feel comfortable wearing it, and most of all it was under $100.



Here is the bridesmaid dress from Abby's wedding. I actually liked this dress for a bridesmaid dress.



Here is the dress that I took my engagement photos in. I can't believe that was already 8 years ago.



Don't laugh! Here is my senior prom dress. Yes it was the 90's and no it still doesn't fit. Why is this still in my closet?!?



Okay, so I'm making this post so that now hopefully someone will hold me accountable for cleaning out that dreaded closet. Hopefully there soon will a part II to this story.

I'm throwing in the towel on Flashback Friday

Every Friday I vow that I'm going to do the Flashback Friday photo and every Friday the day just gets away with me. This past Friday was just so crazy that even before Brian left the house he asked me what I was going to do for the day and my only answer was I'm going to just survive. Ever have one of those days? Well, that is where I was. William has two teeth coming in. Allyson was being a sassy three year old who keeps reminding me that she will be four in August. I was a mom on little sleep and had a busy day ahead of me. One day I will get it all together for a Flashback Friday but last Friday was not going to be the day. Maybe this will be the week I get everything done...yea right!